Better Late Than Never......?

I just decided to take a break from writing my son's "thank you" notes from his birthday...my hand was cramping up and I was running out of creative adjectives........

Before you all start thinking about how amazing I am for fitting this into my jam packed schedule of summer activities....consider this.....my son's birthday was back in April.....and his party was in the beginning of May.....that's right folks - it has taken me 3 months to write up the thank you's and start getting them into the mail! I guess I got confused along the way and thought that you had a year to thank people after occasions - or is that just for weddings? Or is that just for "giving" a gift to the happily married couple? Are there rules for how long is TOO long? Would you rather receive a thank you note in the mail really, really late or really, really never?

In my defense (sort of) I lost the "thank you" list as I had written it down in a really poor place (on the back of a well-intentioned "What's for Dinner This Week" notepad) and it was misplaced for a while. Every few nights, after the kids were asleep, I would shuffle some papers around and try and locate it, but to no avail. To comfort myself, I would make myself a cocktail and as I sipped it through my fancy straw and twirled my cute little drink umbrella, I would think up a new strategy.

The bigger issue is that I seem to have this problem all the time. I continually find myself being late on sending pretty much everything to where it is supposed to be....

- School papers & permission slips....bad when the teacher has to email you repeatedly.

- Subscription renewals & birthday cards......I always seem to at least "buy' the cards on time, it's just the sending that's hard for me......

- RSVP's & "Will you be having the chicken or fish?" cards....I can't tell you how many calls I have received from "Bridezilla" or her mom......

- Signing the kids up for dance class or Sunday school....bless me Father for I have sinned (again..)

- Following up on mostly everything in life.....priceless?

I'm not sure when this happened exactly - I think that with the birth of each child it just got gradually worse. Not that it's their fault or anything like that.....I guess I just find myself spending my time differently now and my free time (when I should be writing thank you notes etc. is spent rejuvenating my body with a cold beverage...or two.....or three.......)

I feel really terrible that people obviously think I am ungrateful for their gifts, their time and/or their generosity - the truth is that I AM grateful but I am unable to put that into words, place it in an envelope and lick a stamp (too many steps....they have got to come up with something easier than this). Something that, in theory, should only take a few minutes seems like such a daunting task, one that is pushed to "tomorrow" and then, the next thing you know, it is months later and most people forgot they even gave your child something for their birthday (or they think you are a big jackass.....one of the two....)

Perhaps, I should think about having another baby because then everyone in town would refer to me as the "crazy mom with four kids, who never thanks people for anything and really should be put in a padded cell" - THEN maybe people wouldn't expect anything from me....hmmm.....maybe I'll give this idea some more thought.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll treat myself to a nice beverage and mull this one over........and then get back to trying to thank people the proper way (my mom would be so proud)......

Nobody puts Baby in the corner...

As a family, we have had our share of "doozies" when it comes to vacations....I think it's normal for all families to have one or two "interesting" things happen during a trip, but it seems like my family tends to have more "Griswold-like" experiences than most......

Our most recent trip started out last week in beautiful Lake George, NY. I couldn't wait to get out of my house and get away from mostly everything for two weeks. We had the rental house lined up for a few months as my dad had generously secured it for my entire family to use and we couldn't wait to get there. We showed up at our rented house after four hours of driving (which felt more like 12 hours with two kids asking you if "you were there yet" since you left your driveway and one kid not napping but screeching "bye bye" continuously....).

The rental house was basically the one that inspired the screenplay for "The Money Pit" & possibly "Psycho" as well - it was practically falling into the lake and when we asked the owner where the "sandy beach for the kids" was? His reply, "I didn't say there was a 'sandy beach', I said there was sand in the water and it was kind of like the beach". Ohhhhh......I guess we read the ad wrong then...... The entire house was leaning towards the water and as I made my way through the second floor I had to walk "uphill" to the back of the house. Hmmmmm.....so far, this was not going quite like we planned. So, we quickly retreated, and after multiple other Griswold moments (including trying to kill some time at a nearby playground and almost getting struck by lightning as a tropical storm rolled in), we found probably the dirtiest motel (yes, I said "motel") room on the lake and made camp for the night. It was comforting to find a "gently used" glue trap below my pillow....I at least felt like the hotel management was trying to do something about the pest problem....

Day #2 brought just as much drama but in a very different way. We drove up and down the western side of the lake all day trying to find a new place to rent as we had three cars packed to the roofs and we were not going home without a fight. We pulled into a nearby lodge as we were exhausted and hungry and about to kill each other. As I stepped out of the car I could almost hear the song in my head... "Now I..........had....the time of my life........". The peppy director of the Lodge greeted us and began telling us about all the activities that the Lodge had to offer......I was barely listening as she listed off "movie night...indoor pool..midnight buffet" - I was too busy looking around at all the families that were presently staying at the Lodge. They had to be plants, there was NO way these people could be real. I looked over at the Shuffleboard court (yes, I said Shuffleboard) and Perfect Family #1 was playing a friendly pre-dinner game. I reeled around and saw Perfect Family #2 splashing each other in their own version of "Paddleboat Wars".....now my head was spinning.....was a guy carrying two watermelons going to pop out of the bushes and ask me if I could give him a hand? Were Conga lessons being offered on the south lawn? Were my sister and I going to lay in beds that were side by side that night and discuss our trouble with boys?

Fast forward to that night....as I tried to get some sleep.....my sister and my two boys and I were all sharing one room in our cabin as my sister refused to sleep in her own room as she had discovered several spider nests earlier. Suffering from arachnaphobia, she was not going to go anywhere near her room for the remainder of our stay. I think we actually slept in our clothes that night for fear of touching the bed linens. The problem was that the genius that installed the air conditioner in our cabin decided to just saw a hole in the wall and throw the unit in and not put any insulation or anything around it. The were gaping holes around the A/C and had I not been delirious and dead to the world, I probably would have woken up during the feeding frenzy that ensued. When I woke up the next morning, my family barely recognized me, my eyes were basically squished shut as I was one giant mosquito bite (oh yeah, don't leave out the spiders that decided I looked irresistible as well!)

Later on, wearing my "Off Fan Belt" (yep, I am that cool....) on the playground, we were attacked, without warning, by miniature Pterodactyls that actually drew blood. It took me days to wash the clumps of dried blood out of my poor baby's hair - it was that bad. Being partly crazy & a hypochondriac to boot, I was "Googling" Triple EEE & Encephalitis all week, convinced that I, or someone I loved, had some sort of mosquito borne illness and that person was going to be placed in quarantine. As we left the Lodge, the director yelled out "Don't forget! Wednesday night is Caribbean night! Be sure to come back" (Ummm, yeah Lady, we'll be the first ones here......I'll bring my own maracas.....)

Needless to say, we found a house and people who didn't know exactly "who" they were renting to (until it was too late - we were already in!) We are finally having a nice and relaxing vacation and we will most likely try it again next summer. Never mind, that my family has told me several times that my kids are "out of control" or that most likely we will not be "asked back" next year by the owners of the house due to my children's screaming. I have to say I will always have fond memories of this trip. My daughter has come to love counting all my insect bites and putting our Burt's Bees stick on them to give me some temporary relief. Both of my older kids have adopted crayfish and think that we are actually taking them home to live with us. And I believe the baby might think that he will be sleeping in between my husband and I until he goes to college...as he apparently climbs out of a Pak-n-Play now (we unfortunately didn't have a plan B).....

So here I sit, ready to continue on to week #2 of vacation......I'm not sure what else could happen but stay tuned......hopefully Aunt Edna won't be part of the story........

Summer Musings...

It could be the incessant rain, or the fact that I may be feeling like I need some parental training, but I find myself wondering what I could be doing better as a mom to three young children.

Over the past few days, I have been looking at various friend's "Fun in the Sun - Summer 2009" albums and I find myself not having too many of my own to post or even share with others at this point. Yes, we are only a few weeks into the summer but if I had to name this summer so far it would be called 'The Summer That My Kids Decided They Don't Care to Listen To A Word I Say" or "The Summer I Looked Into Behavior-Themed Day Camps For My Children".

Don't they have an aisle in Barnes & Noble for this problem? I swear I have seen people crouching amongst "those" shelves as I walk by sipping my Chai Tea latte looking for the latest "teen" thriller.... (snickering to myself and lamenting that THOSE parents must not know the first thing about raising children or they wouldn't need a book...)

Well people, the time has come for me to buy up that aisle in full, in fact, I think I'll visit amazon.com later tonight and purchase anything with the keywords "Behavior Modification" or "How to Turn Your Kids Into Robots"......obviously I'm kidding, but you catch my drift......

I have a Facebook account and I love checking in multiple times during the day to see what people are up to etc. Many times, it's mom friends who are posting things like "Making homemade brownies with the kids - we are having so much fun licking the bowl together - LOL!" or "The kids buried me in the sand today and I lost my car keys - guess we are sleeping on the beach tonight - LMAO!" Most of my status updates involve booze, my lack of exercise or the fact that my kids have worn a spot in the carpet on the stairs because the "timeout fairy" has visited us again (you have to put a cute spin on it or people will think you are a monster) ...maybe this is part of my problem.....

So.....my husband and I just put the kids to bed (finally!), after multiple discussions about what things they "lost" today due to bad behavior and I have vowed to start over again tomorrow. I will try not to raise my voice before 10:00 a.m., we'll do a few worksheets together and then maybe we'll make a giant poster that counts down the days until school starts again.......now that sounds like a plan.......