My NOT so glamorous life......

My alarm goes off at 6:25 a.m......it hurts, it hurts bad.....I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer in college and drinking late into the evening before your 8 a.m. class is a BAD idea......

I unwillingly get out of bed, proceed to stab the bottom of my foot on a star-shaped plastic block and hit snooze...I should have stopped at the three margaritas I had while I was out to dinner with "that crew" as my husband calls them...with love of course... These girls can drink me under the table and function the next day whether it be getting their kids off to school or going to their jobs, and I, apparently cannot.   (I actually saw a "camo" fanny pack that holds six beers on "The Ellen Show" this morning that is for sale on eBay that I will be purchasing for each of these girls on their birthday....but, I digress.....)  Why did I think that a "night cap" when I got home would make things more fun?  I need my head examined.....

I woke up this morning in a rather foul mood and realized I had two lunches to make, snacks to pack, a dance recital rehearsal to get ready for and a 5 year old birthday party happening tomorrow which I had no supplies for, and I had to volunteer in my daughter's classroom....this was not going to be a good day.  I also had very few clean clothes which is becoming a common occurrence at my house.  I pulled on my clothes from last night (before you get TOO grossed out, I didn't throw up in them or smoke, so I figured they would be fine) and left for my first destination wearing my slippers, which feel like shoes, so I had to go back home before my second stop.  

When I arrived at my daughter's school to volunteer I realized I must have dragged my sleeve in guacamole and beans last night so I walked down the hallway picking & flicking off anything that looked like food on the sleeve of my sweater.  Ok, now you can say "gross" - seriously, I need help.  Now keep in mind, if I ever saw someone doing that I probably would be the first to throw up in my mouth.

The sad thing is, not much has changed since college, except for the fact I have three kids and a house payment.  I still go out when I feel like it without even checking what may be occurring the next day (i.e. an exam or events) and I still hit snooze when I feel like it, hey, I can shower later, right?

I also realized when I came home from being out all day and seeing at least 25 - 30 parents in town that I had makeup on my shirt, kind of like when you go to try on that really cute top in the Gap and someone has left their entire face on it and there are no more in your size.......yep, it looked like that.  People must wonder what rock I climbed out from under.....or maybe they really don't care......

(This rambling is dedicated to the "Recycling Sistas" - you know who you are...after all, you found out my "dirty little secret"......)

Other uses for a bathing suit.....

Do you ever take a good look around and realize that you have no clean laundry...?

Well, maybe this has never happened to YOU (or you don't want to admit it)...but it happens here a lot! We live out of laundry baskets that are lined around our room like soldiers at Buckingham Palace - they don't move, they just get tossed around on a daily basis and more is added to them when ever I get around to it.

This week I found myself running out the door for school drop off with a bikini bottom on under my jeans...whenever I do things like this I pretend that it is extremely embarrassing, especially if someone figures it out...but I usually come clean, I have no poker face and I usually share just a little too much with everyone around me. Now, on this day, no one in the whole town knew (or cared) that I was wearing bathing suit bottoms. As usual, I felt it was my duty to let everyone know who I came in contact with on that day that I was in fact a mom in desperate need of some sort of an "Alice". Those damn Bradys, they didn't even realize how good they had it; their laundry was always clean, they had dinner on the table promptly at 5:00 p.m....who even lives like that in real life?

I have to admit that the bathing suit wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I kept it on for the whole day even as I proudly completed one whole load of wash through the ENTIRE cycle. So, there is hope for moms out there who seem to have no undergarments clean on a particular day, just reach into the bathing suit drawer and pull out an old bikini = problem solved! I rarely even wear a bathing suit anymore, I prefer, after three kids, to tying a black Hefty bag around my body and sunning myself in that......I have to admit I am a bit jealous of those Ranch of Zion ladies - they get to SWIM in those dresses! I wonder if they have a website...........