Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wrinkles & Roots....

So, I'm not sure if I should hug my sister or slap her....I mean, if I slap her, it will be in a "sisterly love" kind of way...

She just got a new computer and she has these really cool features on it...I'm not going to go into detail here....if you want more on these features, tune into any Primetime show and wait for the commercial that starts out "Hi, I'm a Mac...Hi, I'm a PC"....

Anyway, she was just making some fun videos of the kids (which they loved...especially the "chipmunk" voice feature) and then off to bed they went, without a hitch, just brushed their teeth, tucked themselves in and they were off to Dreamland.....(nah, not really, but let's pretend it happened that way...)

My sister, being the extremely hilarious person that she is, decided it would be really funny to leave the camera running (kind of like a Big Brother/Supernanny episode) and captured some really stimulating video of my husband and I fighting over the correct way to do our child's homework and me carrying a bunch of dirty laundry around the house while complaining that all I do are dishes and laundry all day...it was thrilling. If anyone would like to see it, just send me an email.....it will also be on YouTube momentarily....

I guess the whole point of this is that two things happened here tonight..the first is that I came up with the title for my new book 'Wrinkles & Roots" and second, I verified one of my biggest fears: YES, I LOOK OLDER. YES, THIS LAST BIRTHDAY HURT A LITTLE...ACTUALLY QUITE A LOT. YES, I WOULD GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY.

I remember the days where I could just throw on a baseball hat with no makeup and go out to breakfast and I still looked just as good as I did the night before (well, at least I thought that). These days, if I leave the house with a baseball hat on and no makeup I am usually greeted with "What's wrong?", "Are you sick?" or "Have you given up totally?"

I guess, part of getting older, having another birthday and feeling like you just completed your millionth load of laundry is that sometimes you don't feel too glamorous. Sometimes, you wonder why you have more wrinkles (let's call them laugh lines - it sounds "prettier"), dark roots (my daughter always asks me why I have so many different colors in my hair) and a few extra lbs. on the ol' frame. Do I embrace it? Do I scream? Or do I relocate to SoCal and get my lips plumped and my thighs sucked out?

I guess I'm not sure of the answer to this one. When I do decide to finally pen my memoir, 'Wrinkles & Roots", please be sure to all buy a copy and I might let you slap my sister for free.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Rockin' Out in the Mumu......

So, it's Friday....and 2 out of my 3 kids are at home with me today. There is a possibility of rain in the forecast which means for me that I hide out in the house all day and when my 5 & 1 year old sons start to jump off the furniture for entertainment...I act surprised.

I decided that today is a perfect "mumu" day. If I had a mumu I would rock it out today..I might add a necklace or some fuzzy slippers to make it a little more appealing but I would be wearing it all day. Am I embarrassed that someone might come to my door and find me in this get up? Not at all.....

As a good old friend once said to me (a few months back), when I "acted" embarrassed that he had "caught me" unshowered that day and still in my pajamas at 4:00 p.m., "Don't worry Meagan, I have known you a long time and I have seen you look a lot worse." Well, thank you kind friend, I think........

I guess I just have a problem with trying to fit my mom butt & cankles in to some overpriced Juicy sweatsuit only to have all the fun "surprises" that I find on a daily basis ruin my $200 terry cloth number in one fell swoop.....

For example, I just opened my freezer this morning and encountered one of my child's "experiments" (as she lovingly refers to them). Within seconds of opening the door, I met an avalanche of "heart shaped half frozen ice cubes made out of yogurt, water and some other liquid" that apparently hadn't froze all of the way yet. I guess that's my bad. I probably should just stay out of there and hope for the best.

Example #2 would be when my youngest son likes to use me as his "human tissue". I don't think I have to go into much detail here. Apparently, if you don't have a tissue handy...I'm your go-to-girl. He especially likes to come up to me and spit out anything that he has put in his mouth and then deems unsuitable for his palette.

Another reason why a mumu would be perfect for me is because of some of the scarier "items" I come across in my house from time to time. Obviously, if I had a cleaning person, I wouldn't be subjected to these things, but my husband wasn't swayed by this argument so here I am.

Yesterday I was walking past the doorway and thought we had adopted some sort of new furry creature, which wouldn't be that weird around here as we are animal lovers. Just last month I came home to find some frogs and a snail on my kitchen counter with a note that said "Dear Meag, Here are the perfect pets for the kids! Love, Mom" Thanks Mom......I'll be sure to repay the favor at a later date........Anyway, back to the furry creature......it turned out that it was not in fact alive, just a ball that had been created, much like the tumbleweeds you see in the desert. The recipe? Some dog hair, a daughter that brushes her locks more than Marcia Brady and construction at your neighbor's house, and you have a perfect and unique dust bunny. If I was wearing the mumu when I found that little gem, I could have begun my spring cleaning (so what that it's fall....some of us have been busy, OK?). So, instead of cleaning, I threw some water on "it" to see if it would multiply and when that didn't work I set him up with the frogs and the snail, they seemed lonely.

So, if anyone knows where I can get a mumu (please don't tell me to go to some smelly army/navy story...I can't take those places), let me know. Until then, I'll just keep avoiding doing all the things a "housewife" should be doing during the day, because after all, you need the proper clothes to do your job well and I obviously need to go shopping. Maybe I'll open up a mumu store......I think more people would wear them if they were readily available.....don't you? And thank you Mrs. Roper (and her stylist), I never knew that all those years that I invested into Three's Company would come back to help me at some point later on in life...