This Ain't the Love Boat Baby.......

OK.....so here we are, halfway through summer, and I am really exhausted. I am DONE.....stick a fork in me, I am completely fried.

You see, I have been playing the role of Julie McCoy all summer. I have planned beach days, pool play dates, picnics in the park, water slide days at home, movie sleepovers, you name it, I have done it.

Before I was a mom, I never understood why my own mom was so excited to see us go back to school in September (nothing against you Mom, if you're reading this.....) but, she was so thrilled to take us school supply shopping and send us out to the bus stop on the first day of school (now the martini in her hand makes sense....). I think it was because she was truly delirious.....seriously, now that I'm a mom of 3, I can truly relate.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind taking on this role, there are perks to summer vacation - sleeping in (although lately, my 2 year old thinks that 4:30 a.m. is sleeping in...) and the lack of a true schedule are wonderful, but, I have unfortunately raised kids who expect me to constantly entertain them. "Mom, what are we doing today?" "Mom, what are we doing tomorrow?" "Mom, did you know Johnny's mom is a lot more fun than you?"

When I announced to my kids that today was "Let You Kids Watch Endless Amounts Of TV" Day (while their brains slowly oozed out of their ears, seriously, look closely, after a few episodes of SpongeBob you can actually see their brains melting), they complained a little, until I threw in some popcorn and some old Halloween lollipops, then they were happy as little Ipswich clams....

So, I ask you, what would Julie McCoy do now? I'll tell you what she would do.....she would pull up a bar stool and tell Isaac to make her something really strong and ask Gopher to watch the kids in the pool for a while..

Julie and I just need a little break. We need to get some sleep, have a few cocktails and regroup......after all, there are only 50 more days of summer vacation left, we can do this....right?

I think I need a push.....

....make that a SHOVE in the right direction.

These posts always seem to occur after a night out at my favorite margarita joint. I wake up the next morning an hour late...which makes my kids late...which make my husband late and then comes around back to me and makes me even later.

I found myself this morning, waking up after 12 presses of the snooze button, VERY late. I was out last night "celebrating" with some girlfriends, and then a few margaritas later and a bad tinga chicken hangover, I find myself running to the car in my husbands giant slippers and roaring down the street while my neighbor gives me the "slow "down" sign (you know the waving that's vertical, rather than horizontal? I know how to slow down Mrs. X, thank you very much! Cripes!)

Anyway, after I turn around and change my shoes and adjust the shirt I am wearing which over night seems to have become a belly shirt (?)...I get back into my car. I smell tequila, not sure why, then I remember trying to "share" a "last" drink with someone the previous evening and most of it went into my jeans and shoe, which I'm still wearing (have I mentioned before that I am a CLASS act....?)

I go to volunteer at the school, notice how shiny my hair is in the mirror as I back out of my driveway, wait, that's grease.....hopefully, I won't see anyone I know at school......oh wait, my lucky day - it's FIRE DRILL day - I walk through the school as everyone, parent volunteers, teachers, and kids pour out of their classrooms and here I am, standing on the middle of it, with my alcohol soaked jeans, my rad hair and my belly shirt.......&^*#$@%&*^$!

The nice thing about me I guess, is that I am pretty unpredictable, I used to be very predictable before kids......I made my bed every morning, my pillows were all lined up, my dishes were done - I guess you could say I was rather boring. At least now, you never know if I have clean or dirty clothes on, if I'm showered or un-showered, or if I am still drunk. (Just kidding, I would never go to school drunk, unless I decide to enroll in some more college classes.)

Being the "unorganized, fly by the seat of your pants" kind of mom that I am, I sat in my son's school parking lot and arranged his birthday favors in the car, I set up an assembly line and 20 twisty ties later, I had some great goodie bags. Now, wouldn't that have been easier to do the night before? Maybe I could have bought his gifts before his actual birthday too.....no, that would have been WAY too much planning on my part. The only planning I seem to be able to do lately is when I am going to nap and when I have to stop wearing something before people say, 'Didn't she have that on the last 3 times I saw her?"

My answer to that? "probably".......

Knees are scraped.....but I'll get back up....again......

So, the last few months have been tough for me, for a variety of reason, none of which I will go into right now as either (a) they will bore you to tears (b) things could be worse (c) I have no ability to make a long story "short" or (d) none/all of the above.....

I guess I feel like every few days, my legs get kicked out from under me and I am down on the ground......then, I am back to that place where I can remember sitting up on my kitchen counter after I had fallen off my bike...my knees were scraped (I'm crying - big surprise) and my mom was spraying Bactine on them (while gently blowing on them as well to help ease the sting).......then I snap back into reality and realize, I'm the Mom now and no one is going to hoist me up on the counter and tell me it's going to be all right and ask me if I want a warm chocolate chip cookie.....

This winter totally "stank" - yep that's right - IT STANK! If you ask most New Englanders they will tell you it was a "mild one", "it wasn't that cold" or "the snow wasn't that bad".....well, all I remember are months of me and My Snuggie becoming BFF's and counting down the weeks until I was in a warmer place. I also am dealing with health issues for the first time in my life that I thought only "other people" got......it's scary...I keep telling myself I am "too young" or my kids are "too little" but that still doesn't change things.....

I am also dealing with some personal issues that everyone faces from time to time (mostly remember these particular issues occuring in Junior High, but, oh well....) which makes things harder.

Anyway, if I was reading a good motivational book right now, I'm sure Chapter One would be titled "Get Up, Dust Yourself Off, Stop Whining, and Deal With It"....so, I will.....just not sure where to start......

For now, I think I sit her in the dark with my parents cat (who makes me sneeze and cries incessantly), and make a plan, because if I sit here and feel sorry for myself, nothing will change...I'll wake up tomorrow and it will just be one more day I haven't dealt with the things I need to address.

I started this blog as a joke or to be funny (even if it was only for my own therapy) but I have found writing is something that is indeed, very therapeutic.....so I will most likely keep documenting my "trudge" uphill........and you jump on my back and come along for the ride if you'd like......